How Promotions Work in Terrorist Organizations!

I love how promotions work within terrorist organizations! Wikileaks just leaked this conversation between Ayman al-Zawahiri and an Al-Qaeda courier:

Courier: "HEY MAN! Are you down there?"

Zawahiri: "It is AYMAN! And, yes, I am down here!"

Courier (crawling into hole): "My brother, I wish to congratulate you!"

Zawahiri: "About what?"

Courier: "Our leader, Osama, is dead. (bowing head in reverence)...BUT THAT MAKES YOU THE WORLD'S MOST WANTED MAN NOW, HAYMAN! How long have you waited for this, huh?"

Zawahiri: "Too long! I mean...I feel bad for Osama, but I have worked hard for this, you know! Celebrations will begin outside this hole at 20:00 and end at 20:05...because I don't want to be detected you know!"

Courier: "Of course, of course! We will step out for a breath of fresh air and a peek at all of Allah's beauties!"

Zawahiri: "Aah, yes, I haven't had a peek in so very long! I could use a peek now!"

Courier: "Yes, yes, especially because the surrounding countryside has become quite liberated since we have had to go underground! So much peeking to catch up on!"

Zawahiri: "That is good! But tell me, how did they get to Osama?"

Courier: "Oh, they tracked him because of one of our stupid Couriers, the miserable ****up!"

Zawahir (in a high pitched voice): "W-T-F?!!!!!"

Courier: "But good for you, eh brother? MOST WANTED MAN IN THE WORLD! FINALLY! You'd better practice your head movement now. We tend to get shot in the head a lot!"

Zawahiri: "Inshallah!!"