Jesus and Marriage

I was watching The Da Vinci Code on TV a couple of days back and the following scenario came to mind. If Jesus and Mary Magdalene actually did get married, this is probably how it ended:

Jesus has just walked in through the door with his disciples, late in the evening. Mary is pissed.

Mary (walking up to Jesus): "I can't take this anymore, Jesus! You're never home! 

You're always out with your friends. 

I have strange people knocking on my door all morning saying, "Where's Jesus? We need a miracle!' And I have to tell them to f*** o** because I don't know where the hell you are! 

You can turn water into wine but when I throw a party for my friends I have to make my own humus! 

I have to cook for these 12 guys who are always around but you never do the dishes! 

I don't think I can live like this any more!"

Jesus (rolling his eyes): "Gawwwwd!! Crucify me! Crucify me now!"

The rest is as the Bible says.

How Promotions Work in Terrorist Organizations!

I love how promotions work within terrorist organizations! Wikileaks just leaked this conversation between Ayman al-Zawahiri and an Al-Qaeda courier:

Courier: "HEY MAN! Are you down there?"

Zawahiri: "It is AYMAN! And, yes, I am down here!"

Courier (crawling into hole): "My brother, I wish to congratulate you!"

Zawahiri: "About what?"

Courier: "Our leader, Osama, is dead. (bowing head in reverence)...BUT THAT MAKES YOU THE WORLD'S MOST WANTED MAN NOW, HAYMAN! How long have you waited for this, huh?"

Zawahiri: "Too long! I mean...I feel bad for Osama, but I have worked hard for this, you know! Celebrations will begin outside this hole at 20:00 and end at 20:05...because I don't want to be detected you know!"

Courier: "Of course, of course! We will step out for a breath of fresh air and a peek at all of Allah's beauties!"

Zawahiri: "Aah, yes, I haven't had a peek in so very long! I could use a peek now!"

Courier: "Yes, yes, especially because the surrounding countryside has become quite liberated since we have had to go underground! So much peeking to catch up on!"

Zawahiri: "That is good! But tell me, how did they get to Osama?"

Courier: "Oh, they tracked him because of one of our stupid Couriers, the miserable ****up!"

Zawahir (in a high pitched voice): "W-T-F?!!!!!"

Courier: "But good for you, eh brother? MOST WANTED MAN IN THE WORLD! FINALLY! You'd better practice your head movement now. We tend to get shot in the head a lot!"

Zawahiri: "Inshallah!!"

Jack and Jill - Redone!

I've loved Roald Dahl ever since I read his short story, Parson's Pleasure. As much as I love his story telling, I absolutely adore his Revolting Rhymes! He's a true master at putting his own evil spin on old, popular fables and rhymes. The following is my own attempt at redoing Jack and Jill. Hope you like it.

Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill
went up the hill
to fetch a pail
of water.
Jill carried the pail
all the way up,
While Jack arsed-around
behind her.

Said Jack unto Jill,
"Can you slow down, please?"
"I need to catch
a breather!"
Jill smiled kindly,
sat down beside him,
said, "you're wheezing
like an ol' geezer!"

"You know smoking can kill you,
and yet you persist,
why do you do it,
oh brother?"
Jack looked quite silly,
as he puffed on a ciggy.
But his joy,
was like no other.

Said Jill unto Jack,
"What could it be,
that makes you smoke,
so frivolously?"
Jack smiled at her,
as he lit up another,
and said,
"Ah, but it makes me look real natty!"

On the way back home
Jack stopped with a groan,
and coughed up his lungs
all asunder!
Then Jack fell down
and broke his crown.
And Jill?
Didn't dare smoke thereafter.

Renewed Passion for Life!

When I was a kid, my passion was sketching. It was something that consumed me, though I never did really achieve the kind of skills I would have liked. I gave it up after a point because my academics was taking a back seat. It's been a long time since that I've felt as enthusiastic about anything. But in the last few years, my life has expanded to include three new things that have reignited that childhood passion: first, my family and kids; I want to be the best dad I can be! Second, my photography; I'd always been interested in this art and after getting my first, respectable digital camera, I seem to have made some headway in the right direction! And finally, my guitar playing. As a kid, I longed to be one of those cool guys you see playing the guitar, with an ardent following of female admirers! It didn't make things easier that my dad was a pretty good guitarist himself and that I had uncles and cousins who were quite adept at it. Because somehow, I just couldn't stick with it, in spite of repeated attempts. I would give up easily. Weirdly enough, having taken up the guitar at the age of 31, I've actually learned a lot more now than I did in my youth! 

So, here's a post dedicated to one of my passions at least; my photography.

I took this pic at beautiful lagoon in Havelock, Andamans.

The beauty of this lagoon made me feel like I could do no wrong with my photos!

Long way to go!

Best bud!