Saying Good Bye to Jignesh Parekh

 

The evening of 19th Feb 2010 brought with it the death of a good friend, Jignesh Parekh. Jigs, as we used to call him, lived life to the fullest. He loved all the good things in life and I don't think he ever saw any sense in being modest about it! His zest for life was probably only superceded by his uncontrollable urge for spewing one-liners!

I met Jigs for the first time at Hurix Systems, an eLearning company in Mumbai. When I quit Hurix, we left as acquaintances. He was good fun to be around and we hung out as part of a larger group. 7 years later, life arranged it so that we were working in the same organization again. This time we became friends. A lot had changed in both our lives since our Hurix days. We were both married and were both parents now. I was father to two girls and Jigs was dad to a four year old son. We realized we had a lot more in common now than just offices. We took breaks together and talked about our families and life in general. On most occasions, I listened while Jigs talked. He was the quintessential sales man, knowledgeable about a lot of things under the sun and a smooth talker. He was also the quintessential Gujju in that he had the typical, sharp Gujju-business-mind and the ability to recognize a good deal! When I think about it now, he gave me some very good advice that helped me bargain better when I was house shopping.

Love Jignesh or merely like him (I don't think anyone ever hated him), you definitely could not ignore him! He was all around. His jokes and one-liners brought alive our lunches in the office pantry. He could always see the funny side of anything and although at times his jokes would be straight out of high school, they still made you laugh!

And that's why I'm finding this particular Monday morning very difficult to get through. It is the first working day after Jigs passed away and the jokes have died with him. I cannot believe that we will never see him again, never hear another smart quip or a funny one-liner. The weekend before the 19th was the weekend of the blasts at German Bakery. When news got around, almost everyone from our office that knew him messaged Jignesh to ask if he was okay. That's because Jignesh was a regular at German Bakery. He loved the upbeat atmosphere of Koregaon Park and chose to live there even if he had to drive 40 minutes to work. German Bakery was his regular haunt because it was the place he would eat breakfast. During the week after the blast, he once commented that had he not been in Bombay with his family, he would have been at German Bakery that fateful day. As luck would have it, he cheated death that weekend but it caught up with him the very next weekend.

A couple of weeks before his accident, we often talked about how unpredictable life was and how we should always plan for our family's security. May be it was premonition or may be it was just the way Jigs was...totally focused on his wife and son. It's one of life's painful ironies that he met with his accident as he was driving back to be with his family. I can only hope today that he had enough time to actually put his plans into action before he was called away.

My biggest regret is that I didn't get a chance to see him one last time. I was on leave that fateful Friday. But I am most grateful for the fact that although we worked together, Jigs and I were able to keep our differences in opinions aside so that it didn't affect our friendship. For someone who loved to talk as much as he did, Jigs made a silent exit. But for those of us that remain, the silence is deafening.

Can We Really Escape This?

Yet another bomb blast, and this time it was much closer to home than ever before! Compared to Mumbai, Pune is a small city. For every Punekar, the world actually IS a small place. And when the latest act of terrorism hits a place like Koregaon Park, it hits close to home, no matter where in Pune you may live. For me, it was as good as the bomb going off at my door step. I live at a 10-minutes drive from Koregaon Park and have frequented German Bakery quite often in the past. The thought of driving down the familiar lane and looking at the shambles of what was once a bustling tourist spot saddens me. 

But this feeling will soon pass—and to some extent it already has—because at the end of the day...it was just another bomb blast! Yes, we're somewhat shaken up because it came very close to affecting our own lives, but at the end of it all...do we really care anymore?  

Random acts of terrorism have become the norm. Be it the Bombay blasts, random blasts at Malegaon, stray incidents of bombs going off in trains, or the blasts in Pune the average Indian has come to accept these occurrences as just another extension of his/her life. The last act of terrorism that really shook the nation, and more specifically the state of Maharashtra, was the 26/11 attack on Mumbai. My guess is people's reaction to this particular incident was outrage more because it was so very different from the usual bombings. The sight of the Taj burning after being laid seize by a handfull of terrorists while security and armed forces tried desperately to salvage the situation is one that Mumbaikars will not forget soon. It laid bare the inability of the state and central administration to react to such situations in a timely manner. The average Mumbaikar's reaction to this incident would have been "Yes, I'm angry but I'll take it in my stride!" 

This so called "indomitable Indian spirit" isn't something we developed suddenly. We've cultivated it over the years, having been subjected to numerous acts of violence. We've lived through horrendous communal riots; one that was fuelled by misplaced religious fervor and another that was blatantly encouraged by a state government. We open our newspapers every day to news of local thugs masquerading as politicians and indulging in their own acts of violence, all in the name of pride of state. We wake up in a country that is proudly associated with the old adage "University in Diversity" and we begin our days to photographs of well meaning and "patriotic" Shiv Sainiks beating up North Indian taxi drivers and sensationalized news reports of Hindu rioters describing how they hacked their victims to death during the Godhra riots. We are shocked, but we move on. 

The oft asked questions these days are, "How can we prevent terror attacks? By being more vigilant? By having CCTVs in more tourist spots?" Perhaps the kind of questions we should really be asking ourselves is, "Though these attacks may be from external sources, aren't they merely payback for the lack of tolerance and the narrow mindedness of some segments of our own population? And, if that is true, can we actually escape this payback?" 

In a land where justice is often meted out belatedly, can we escape the factions that choose to mete out their own form of justice? Be more vigilant we must, but what we really need is to be more vigilant about falling prey to our own narrow mindedness, and become truly united in our diversity.

Road Tripping with Moody Blues

10 years ago, if you'd told me that I would own two bikes some day, I would have had a hearty laugh! Aside from the fact that at 22 I had never come close to riding a bike, owning a bike was a far off dream because I didn't have any idea how I would ever earn enough to buy one! I had no clue what I wanted to do or where I wanted to go in life (let alone HOW I wanted to get there)!

Somewhere in 2001, I bought my first bike - the Bajaj Pulsar 150cc. It was the first thing I ever really owned (even though my mom helped with the down payment)! It was probably the first time a sense of responsibility set in. I had to work if I wanted to pay off my bike loan and there was no way in hell anyone was going to take my bike away from me! My first bike also helped fix--to some extent--my cracked ego. I still remember an ex-flame telling me, "you really should learn how to ride a bike!" It makes me laugh now, but not knowing how to handle a bike can be very debilitating for a 22 year old man! But the reason I will always have fond memories of that bike is...it set me free! It allowed me the chance to leave behind everything that was ever wrong with my life! An opportunity to explore; not necessarily "boldly going where no man has gone before" but definitely a sense of adventure!

Since then I've also owned a car, but it's true when they say that a car cannot give you that sense of freedom like a bike. That exhilarating feeling of the wind hitting your face! And now, I'm reliving that experience...with my spanking new Bajaj Avenger, 200cc cruiser! She's only 6 days old now and is the most beautiful shade of blue you've ever seen! I'm calling her Moody Blues because it also reflects how I feel a lot of the time. Amdist all the randomness of this blog, I'm also going to be throwing in posts of our adventures together.

For now though, home beckons and Moody Blues is waiting patiently for me!   

I Am What I Am, By His Grace

I came across the following Bible passage on my sis-in-law Susanna's blog: "For I am the least of the apostles, not fit to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me has not been ineffective" -- 1 Cor 15:10.

This verse is from the book of St. Paul. According to the Bible, St. Paul was actually a persecutor of Christians, until he was converted on the road to Damascus. Hence, the reference to persecuting the Church of God.

I am not a devout Catholic; I've never been one. I always say that I am a Catholic because I was born into a Catholic family, baptised a Catholic and have just continued down the path ever since. A "moderate" is how I refer to myself when I speak about my own religious beliefs. For this reason, the people that know me and are reading this blog would probably find it out of place and quite unlike me. Quoting from Bible passages is not something I do! But something in this verse touched me as I read it. The last sentence especially.

I do not like to think of God as a being restricted within the confines of any one religion. I like to think of him as a greater power that is all knowing and intelligent enough to love unconditionally and forgive repeatedly. While each religion portrays God differently, I expect that a true experience of God would feel the same regardless of faith and community. A true experience of God would make you feel exactly what St. Paul describes: a sense of humility at being loved by someone without being asked if you are truly deserving and, therefore, a tremendous sense of gratitude because this unconditional love helps you become everything you never thought you could be.

I do not like wearing my religious beliefs on my sleeve and I try every day to be accepting of the beliefs of others. I ask only that they also try to accept my own. I wonder sometimes if I'm not taking the easy way out by considering myself a moderate. My own beliefs have been formed and shaped as a result of a tumultuous childhood and youth. Yet, I do not think of myself as a non-believer. Perhaps it is indeed the grace of God that has made me the way I am, lets me think the way I do, feel the way I do. Perhaps his grace to me will not be ineffective either. Perhaps there is a greater purpose waiting somewhere along the way.

E-Book Readers or Good Ol' Paperback?

One of the questions asked during an interview at the first eLearning company I worked for was "Do you think eBook readers are better than paperback novels?" That was eight years ago when eBook readers had probably just arrived on the scene and were gathering consumer interest. Now, with the Kindle and the iPad, the concept of ebook readers has evolved into a whole new ball game. But the question still remains: are these devices really better than paperback novels?

Eight years ago my instant response to this question would have been a resounding "No!" After all, eBook readers at the time didn't have the features that are available now. Screen size was a big issue, as was the discomfort from reading for long hours off an LCD screen. Furthermore, what can be more comfortable than lying back in bed on a lazy Sunday morning with a good paperback novel? You can fall asleep while reading without having to worry about, "What if my book slides off the covers and falls to the floor?"

The new eBook readers have dealt with a lot of the issues that plagued the earlier models. Screen size is no longer a problem and reading off the screen is a lot easier. Kindle's E Ink technology means you can read comfortably on it for hours on end, and while the iPad still poses some issues in this regards because it is backlit, it lets you do a whole lot more than read. Besides, how on earth can you resist the mind blowing user experience of the iPad!

So, eBook readers have some obvious benefits: there's ample storage space so that you can carry a whole library with you; books are a lot more easily accessible because you don't have to step out to the neighbourhood library to get your book changed, or order online and wait for delivery; you've also got some amazing user experience design features, like on the iPad! Kindle and iPad users also have access to a huge collection of books and applications for their devices. With text to speech features, like in the Kindle, visually impaired readers can benefit from having books read out to them. Service providers could also go a step further and offer audio podcasts of short stories--readings of stories by authors--that could really bring a story alive!

I love my gadgets and so I would love to own a Kindle some day! I'm a wee bit skeptical of the iPad because it does look like the iPhone on steroids but also because it's a lot more expensive. That being said, I still think that the experience of shopping for a book at a local book store, like Strand's Book Stall in Nariman Point, cannot be beaten by downloading books online! Apple has promised it's iPad users an iBook store, wherein users can choose from a list of books as though they were browsing through a book shelf. What they're trying to do is replicate the experience of book shopping in real life within an online medium. Now if only they could replicate the joy you feel at walking into a book store with its book-lined walls, multi-colored stacks of paperbacks with their titles jumping out at you, and the very smell of paper that we so love!