I Am What I Am, By His Grace

I came across the following Bible passage on my sis-in-law Susanna's blog: "For I am the least of the apostles, not fit to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me has not been ineffective" -- 1 Cor 15:10.

This verse is from the book of St. Paul. According to the Bible, St. Paul was actually a persecutor of Christians, until he was converted on the road to Damascus. Hence, the reference to persecuting the Church of God.

I am not a devout Catholic; I've never been one. I always say that I am a Catholic because I was born into a Catholic family, baptised a Catholic and have just continued down the path ever since. A "moderate" is how I refer to myself when I speak about my own religious beliefs. For this reason, the people that know me and are reading this blog would probably find it out of place and quite unlike me. Quoting from Bible passages is not something I do! But something in this verse touched me as I read it. The last sentence especially.

I do not like to think of God as a being restricted within the confines of any one religion. I like to think of him as a greater power that is all knowing and intelligent enough to love unconditionally and forgive repeatedly. While each religion portrays God differently, I expect that a true experience of God would feel the same regardless of faith and community. A true experience of God would make you feel exactly what St. Paul describes: a sense of humility at being loved by someone without being asked if you are truly deserving and, therefore, a tremendous sense of gratitude because this unconditional love helps you become everything you never thought you could be.

I do not like wearing my religious beliefs on my sleeve and I try every day to be accepting of the beliefs of others. I ask only that they also try to accept my own. I wonder sometimes if I'm not taking the easy way out by considering myself a moderate. My own beliefs have been formed and shaped as a result of a tumultuous childhood and youth. Yet, I do not think of myself as a non-believer. Perhaps it is indeed the grace of God that has made me the way I am, lets me think the way I do, feel the way I do. Perhaps his grace to me will not be ineffective either. Perhaps there is a greater purpose waiting somewhere along the way.