My Tuppence

Jesus and Marriage

2011-07-08T18:28:00.000+05:30

I was watching The Da Vinci Code on TV a couple of days back and the following scenario came to mind. If Jesus and Mary Magdalene actually did get married, this is probably how it ended:

Jesus has just walked in through the door with his disciples, late in the evening. Mary is pissed.

Mary (walking up to Jesus): "I can't take this anymore, Jesus! You're never home!

You're always out with your friends.

I have strange people knocking on my door all morning saying, "Where's Jesus? We need a miracle!' And I have to tell them to f*** o** because I don't know where the hell you are!

You can turn water into wine but when I throw a party for my friends I have to make my own humus!

I have to cook for these 12 guys who are always around but you never do the dishes!

I don't think I can live like this any more!"

Jesus (rolling his eyes): "Gawwwwd!! Crucify me! Crucify me now!"

The rest is as the Bible says.

How Promotions Work in Terrorist Organizations!

2011-05-03T17:14:00.001+05:30

I love how promotions work within terrorist organizations! Wikileaks just leaked this conversation between Ayman al-Zawahiri and an Al-Qaeda courier:

Courier: "HEY MAN! Are you down there?"

Zawahiri: "It is AYMAN! And, yes, I am down here!"

Courier (crawling into hole): "My brother, I wish to congratulate you!"

Zawahiri: "About what?"

Courier: "Our leader, Osama, is dead. (bowing head in reverence)...BUT THAT MAKES YOU THE WORLD'S MOST WANTED MAN NOW, HAYMAN! How long have you waited for this, huh?"

Zawahiri: "Too long! I mean...I feel bad for Osama, but I have worked hard for this, you know! Celebrations will begin outside this hole at 20:00 and end at 20:05...because I don't want to be detected you know!"

Courier: "Of course, of course! We will step out for a breath of fresh air and a peek at all of Allah's beauties!"

Zawahiri: "Aah, yes, I haven't had a peek in so very long! I could use a peek now!"

Courier: "Yes, yes, especially because the surrounding countryside has become quite liberated since we have had to go underground! So much peeking to catch up on!"

Zawahiri: "That is good! But tell me, how did they get to Osama?"

Courier: "Oh, they tracked him because of one of our stupid Couriers, the miserable ****up!"

Zawahir (in a high pitched voice): "W-T-F?!!!!!"

Courier: "But good for you, eh brother? MOST WANTED MAN IN THE WORLD! FINALLY! You'd better practice your head movement now. We tend to get shot in the head a lot!"

Zawahiri: "Inshallah!!"

Jack and Jill - Redone!

2011-04-30T10:10:00.001+05:30

I've loved Roald Dahl ever since I read his short story, Parson's Pleasure. As much as I love his story telling, I absolutely adore his Revolting Rhymes! He's a true master at putting his own evil spin on old, popular fables and rhymes. The following is my own attempt at redoing Jack and Jill. Hope you like it.

Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill
went up the hill
to fetch a pail
of water.
Jill carried the pail
all the way up,
While Jack arsed-around
behind her.

Said Jack unto Jill,
"Can you slow down, please?"
"I need to catch
a breather!"
Jill smiled kindly,
sat down beside him,
said, "you're wheezing
like an ol' geezer!"

"You know smoking can kill you,
and yet you persist,
why do you do it,
oh brother?"
Jack looked quite silly,
as he puffed on a ciggy.
But his joy,
was like no other.

Said Jill unto Jack,
"What could it be,
that makes you smoke,
so frivolously?"
Jack smiled at her,
as he lit up another,
and said,
"Ah, but it makes me look real natty!"

On the way back home
Jack stopped with a groan,
and coughed up his lungs
all asunder!
Then Jack fell down
and broke his crown.
And Jill?
Didn't dare smoke thereafter.

Renewed Passion for Life!

2011-02-24T17:43:00.008+05:30

When I was a kid, my passion was sketching. It was something that consumed me, though I never did really achieve the kind of skills I would have liked. I gave it up after a point because my academics was taking a back seat. It's been a long time since that I've felt as enthusiastic about anything. But in the last few years, my life has expanded to include three new things that have reignited that childhood passion: first, my family and kids; I want to be the best dad I can be! Second, my photography; I'd always been interested in this art and after getting my first, respectable digital camera, I seem to have made some headway in the right direction! And finally, my guitar playing. As a kid, I longed to be one of those cool guys you see playing the guitar, with an ardent following of female admirers! It didn't make things easier that my dad was a pretty good guitarist himself and that I had uncles and cousins who were quite adept at it. Because somehow, I just couldn't stick with it, in spite of repeated attempts. I would give up easily. Weirdly enough, having taken up the guitar at the age of 31, I've actually learned a lot more now than I did in my youth!

So, here's a post dedicated to one of my passions at least; my photography.

I took this pic at beautiful lagoon in Havelock, Andamans.

The beauty of this lagoon made me feel like I could do no wrong with my photos!

Long way to go!

Best bud!

Silent Night

2010-09-08T23:54:00.001+05:30

Yesterday turned out to be a long day at work. As I walked in the front door at 10:30 last night, the first sight to greet me was the by-now-familiar mess in the living room. Toys strewn all over the floor, Lisa's shoes left carelessly out of place, a hand towel dropped behind a chair. The dining area was a bigger mess, with the chairs all out of place around the table. The kitchen floor was littered with potatoes that Beth had played with and there were plates just about everywhere, except where they were supposed to be. Other than this mess though, the house was quiet!

On any other evening, I would have been irritated at the sight. But for some reason, this particular evening I felt peaceful. The mess on the floor meant I had two happy, healthy babies who'd run amok the entire evening! Which meant that they were tired out by now and fast asleep in bed. Which explained the peace. Which also meant that I could have a quiet dinner myself, maybe talk with the missus, and then look forward to a good night's sleep.

I felt blessed.

Khosla Ka Ghosla!

2010-09-03T18:44:00.003+05:30

The last six months have been torture-some. Having realized one of our most cherished dreams, the missus and I are actually helplessly watching the dream turn into some kind of nightmare! We booked our flat late last year and soon realized that the builder we'd picked is as shady as they come. What is it about the builder community that they are so cut throat? And why is it that the common man in India is so helpless against this lobby? The most we can do is expect to be able to turn to the law; to the courts. But when was the last time you heard an Indian speaking about his confidence in the Indian judiciary? Sadly enough, while it is our only recourse, we have no faith in it! No one wants to grow old while waiting for our courts to mete out justice. Our only hope right now is that we can wake up from the nightmare sometime soon. I guess you could say we need a 'kick' right about now!

On the good side, the last six months have taught me a lot about life. It's funny how we aspire to teach our kids all the good lessons our parents taught us, even though every day we learn for ourselves that those lessons are long outdated! Good doesn't necessarily win over evil. "Ask and you shall receive" is the most overrated statement ever (except when you're asking for trouble). And compromising on your beliefs is often the smartest way out!

Finally! What I Wanted for My Blog!

2010-09-03T17:27:00.000+05:30

I finally have what I wanted for my blog! New design templates! I've updated the blog with a new look and I hope to be posting more often now. Hope you like the look and hope I can live up to my own expectations!

Is it Wrong to Want More?

2010-05-18T12:20:00.001+05:30

One of my wife's favorite rants at me is that I am never really happy with anything I have! This came up again recently when I was going through another low patch. I mulled over it a bit and realized that she was right--which is the usual conclusion when I mull over my wife's rantings! I am, in fact, hardly ever truly happy with what I have. I guess this trait materialized when I first became aware of "wants", and then just stayed with me! So, I am and always have been a "craver" and will probably never be a "make do-er"!

But am I that different from everyone else? And is wanting more really that bad? A few days ago, I glanced at the front page of the Pune Times--"glancing" at the news is all I have been able to muster these days--and caught a headline about Jeniffer Aniston. The headline said something to the effect of "Jeniffer Aniston wants hotter body!" Now, one would think that if you're good looking enough to be on television, be a significant part of one of the most popular TV shows in television history, and have a budding career in movies...you're set for life, right? You really shouldn't feel the need for anything more! And yet, Ms Aniston obviously thinks differently!

But I'm not going to judge her because I can totally see the sense in her wanting a "hotter body"!Just because most people in the world would look at her photos and go "She is goddamn pretty!" doesn't mean Ms Aniston isn't entitled to silicone implants and an even tauter belly! The reason I don't judge her is because I came to understand the following quite some time back: as human beings, we will always want more! We cannot help ourselves! Even those of us that look like we've never wanted a dime more than what we have...actually want that dime! And that includes my wife!

The trick is to not be too vocal about your wants...too often! That's right! If you can get what you want easily, it's okay for you to want more, even if you're being a glutton. If you're in the habit of getting what you want easily, you won't need to crib about the next thing you want. And if people don't hear you cribbing, they'll always think you're a gem of a human being who's happy with his or her lot! But if you don't always get what you want, you really have no other option but to crib about it or to at least look like SUperman with a bad case of Kryptonite poisoning!

So, if you ask me, I say want and crave as much as you like, but tone the bellyaching down a notch or two!

What's in a Birthday?

2010-04-08T18:30:00.001+05:30

I celebrated my birthday on the 2nd of April. Well, to be accurate, the celebrations began a week earlier and some of it continued into the next week. It was a bit of an extended birthday, you could say!

We tend to have varying reactions to birthdays, don't we? Some of us, like me, might not consider birthdays a big deal. I would feel a bit low if absolutely no one wished me, but I've never really wanted to make a big deal of it either. Of course, being able to hang out with friends over beer and food and go paragliding doesn't really hurt, but I still wouldn't mind a low key birthday either. For others, birthdays are just morose...we're only getting one step closer to the grave after all! And then for some, birthdays are events that absolutely must be celebrated with the adequate amount of raucous behavior!

Having a birthday is usually a celebration of life. It's the day we came into this world and set into motion a lot of things that would happen later in our lives, including the way we may touch other people's lives. From then on, at every birthday, we take stock of all that we've achieved in the past year. When we're kids, our parents gloat over "how big you've become!" As teenagers, we revel in the attention of our friends. As grown ups we revel in the attention of our spouse and children. But does this celebration of life end once we're gone? Will the 2nd of April ever be remembered as Julian's birthday when I'm not here?

I logged into Facebook yesterday and at one point found myself looking at the list of birthdays for the week. That's when I realized that it was Jignesh's birthday that day. If you haven't read my earlier post, Jignesh was a good friend who passed away on the 19th of February in an automobile accident. Although it's been more than a month now, I don't think I've completely gotten over his death yet. Facebook's reminder of his birthday was also a reminder of how much we missed his presence around the office. Out of sheer curiosity, I visited his page and found that a lot of his other friends felt the same way. His Facebook wall had messages from many of his friends, wishing him a happy birthday, wherever he was. I couldn't hold myself back and posted a message myself, hoping that wherever he was, he would know just how much he was loved.

Can death really be the end of it all? Looking at Jignesh's wall, I would have to say "No"! We can only hope that when our time is up, we would have succeeded in touching enough lives so that although the celebrations might end, the memories of a good life will remain.

Bringing in No. 33!

2010-03-29T11:54:00.003+05:30

Another birthday coming up and time for another surprise party! This year, 2nd of April just also happens to be Good Friday and so the party had to be preponed! And this surprise party was the best one yet!

The surprise involved eight of us driving down to Panchgani for a weekend of beer, food and good company. The last few weeks now, I've been spending time with my brand new XBox. This weekend, I got to hang out with my EX-BOSS! According to Lisa, Tushar was my birthday gift this year! Since he's not a regular at our parties, when he does show up, things just begin to happen. At this party, Tushar, Yashwant and I tried to climb a tree...and failed miserably! Good fun for everyone else watching and bruised egos and scraped elbows and knees for the three of us!

But this year was even more special because one of my wishes from a long time came true (if you read my XBOX post, you'll realize I have a lot of these longstanding wishes!)...I finally went paragliding! The Eco Camp site overlooks the paragliding zone just outside Hotel Ravine and for a long time now I've wanted to give it a shot. The chance finally materialized this Saturday. After downing a couple of beers, Sid suggested we just go do it and since we had downed enough beers that courage was no longer an issue...we got up and went paragliding!

It took all of 10 minutes and we were back on safe ground but those 10 minutes were heavenly! Before I took off, I wondered if I would be able to handle my fear of heights...but I surprised myself. The sense of hanging in empty space with nothing below me was freaky! All I could think about was that if I did fall, there would be nothing left to scrape off the ground! At one point, we were actually hovering mid air and I knew then what eagles feel like. Soon we were back on the ground, thumping each other on the back and heading to the campsite for some beers and gloating!

Driving into office today, I realize that the experience will be a tough one to better. It was very difficult to walk into office and get back to a desk job after getting a taste of the kind of life I REALLY want to live. But for now it will have to make do! In the meantime, I have some new goals for myself before my next birthday comes up. Getting into shape has been a goal for almost every birthday but maybe this time I'll stick to it. First things first though, I've got to climb that damn tree!

X Marks the Box!

2010-03-17T13:30:00.003+05:30

After making a good start with the new year, this blog suddenly hit a dry spell again! I've been stuck for ideas and, hence, haven't been able to post for a while. To some extent this dry spell has been because of some upheavels in my work life and to some extent because of mental fatigue. But I'm hoping that my posts will become more frequent now...because I treated myself yesterday to something I've wanted for a long time! The XBox gaming console!

I love gaming! For me it is the equivalent of going out to a pub and letting your hair down! This does not mean that I am some kind of an introverted person, lacking in social skills. I love games because of the different worlds that they create for you. When I play a game I absolutely enjoy the experience of being someone that I would never be in real life, like an Assassin from the time of the Crusades or...Spiderman! That's one of the reasons I loved James Cameron's Avatar: the idea of seeing a new world through the eyes of an entirely different person. One of my favorite scenes in the movie is when Sam Worthington takes his avatar 'out for a spin' to learn how his new body functions.The sense of discovery that comes with finding out what your new body can do is exhilarating! Take, for instance, the game I am currently playing, Assassin's Creed 2. I can scale walls, free run, fight, and use stealth tactics like blending into a crowd or jumping off a terrace into a cart of hay while trying to evade my enemies! In real life, I have the agility of a hippo but in a game the possibilities are endless!

But more importantly, I'm hoping that getting back to my passion will help me in more ways than one...make me start feeling upbeat again, get the creative juices flowing and help rid me of the constant irritable and tired state I find myself in these days.

Gaming frenzy...here I come!

What time is it, Beth?

2010-03-05T14:55:00.003+05:30

This post is dedicated to my two year old daughter, Beth! Beth has begun speaking quite a bit now, although it's still baby talk. Her vocabulary is still limited but I love some of the gems that come out of her mouth!

Last evening we were celebrating my sis-in-law Susanna's birthday with some well-deserved birthday cake. The happiest person among us? Beth, of course! The day before her own birthday, 11th of Feb, Beth was asked, "What kind of cake would you like, Beth?" Pat came Beth's reply, "Too much cake!" Saying Beth loves cake would be an understatement! But I digress...

Anyway, as Beth was tucking into her share of cake last evening, the following conversation ensued:

Beth: Is not just me!
Nana: That's right, Beth. It's not just you! It's you and Jesus!
Beth: It's not Jesus time!
Susanna: What time is it, Beth?
Beth: It's 8:45!

It wasn't, but for Beth it's always 8:45! Anyway, for whatever it's worth, Beth 'won' that conversation!

Saying Good Bye to Jignesh Parekh

2010-02-22T16:20:00.004+05:30

The evening of 19th Feb 2010 brought with it the death of a good friend, Jignesh Parekh. Jigs, as we used to call him, lived life to the fullest. He loved all the good things in life and I don't think he ever saw any sense in being modest about it! His zest for life was probably only superceded by his uncontrollable urge for spewing one-liners!

I met Jigs for the first time at Hurix Systems, an eLearning company in Mumbai. When I quit Hurix, we left as acquaintances. He was good fun to be around and we hung out as part of a larger group. 7 years later, life arranged it so that we were working in the same organization again. This time we became friends. A lot had changed in both our lives since our Hurix days. We were both married and were both parents now. I was father to two girls and Jigs was dad to a four year old son. We realized we had a lot more in common now than just offices. We took breaks together and talked about our families and life in general. On most occasions, I listened while Jigs talked. He was the quintessential sales man, knowledgeable about a lot of things under the sun and a smooth talker. He was also the quintessential Gujju in that he had the typical, sharp Gujju-business-mind and the ability to recognize a good deal! When I think about it now, he gave me some very good advice that helped me bargain better when I was house shopping.

Love Jignesh or merely like him (I don't think anyone ever hated him), you definitely could not ignore him! He was all around. His jokes and one-liners brought alive our lunches in the office pantry. He could always see the funny side of anything and although at times his jokes would be straight out of high school, they still made you laugh!

And that's why I'm finding this particular Monday morning very difficult to get through. It is the first working day after Jigs passed away and the jokes have died with him. I cannot believe that we will never see him again, never hear another smart quip or a funny one-liner. The weekend before the 19th was the weekend of the blasts at German Bakery. When news got around, almost everyone from our office that knew him messaged Jignesh to ask if he was okay. That's because Jignesh was a regular at German Bakery. He loved the upbeat atmosphere of Koregaon Park and chose to live there even if he had to drive 40 minutes to work. German Bakery was his regular haunt because it was the place he would eat breakfast. During the week after the blast, he once commented that had he not been in Bombay with his family, he would have been at German Bakery that fateful day. As luck would have it, he cheated death that weekend but it caught up with him the very next weekend.

A couple of weeks before his accident, we often talked about how unpredictable life was and how we should always plan for our family's security. May be it was premonition or may be it was just the way Jigs was...totally focused on his wife and son. It's one of life's painful ironies that he met with his accident as he was driving back to be with his family. I can only hope today that he had enough time to actually put his plans into action before he was called away.

My biggest regret is that I didn't get a chance to see him one last time. I was on leave that fateful Friday. But I am most grateful for the fact that although we worked together, Jigs and I were able to keep our differences in opinions aside so that it didn't affect our friendship. For someone who loved to talk as much as he did, Jigs made a silent exit. But for those of us that remain, the silence is deafening.

Can We Really Escape This?

2010-02-16T19:04:00.003+05:30

Yet another bomb blast, and this time it was much closer to home than ever before! Compared to Mumbai, Pune is a small city. For every Punekar, the world actually IS a small place. And when the latest act of terrorism hits a place like Koregaon Park, it hits close to home, no matter where in Pune you may live. For me, it was as good as the bomb going off at my door step. I live at a 10-minutes drive from Koregaon Park and have frequented German Bakery quite often in the past. The thought of driving down the familiar lane and looking at the shambles of what was once a bustling tourist spot saddens me.

But this feeling will soon pass—and to some extent it already has—because at the end of the day...it was just another bomb blast! Yes, we're somewhat shaken up because it came very close to affecting our own lives, but at the end of it all...do we really care anymore?

Random acts of terrorism have become the norm. Be it the Bombay blasts, random blasts at Malegaon, stray incidents of bombs going off in trains, or the blasts in Pune the average Indian has come to accept these occurrences as just another extension of his/her life. The last act of terrorism that really shook the nation, and more specifically the state of Maharashtra, was the 26/11 attack on Mumbai. My guess is people's reaction to this particular incident was outrage more because it was so very different from the usual bombings. The sight of the Taj burning after being laid seize by a handfull of terrorists while security and armed forces tried desperately to salvage the situation is one that Mumbaikars will not forget soon. It laid bare the inability of the state and central administration to react to such situations in a timely manner. The average Mumbaikar's reaction to this incident would have been "Yes, I'm angry but I'll take it in my stride!"

This so called "indomitable Indian spirit" isn't something we developed suddenly. We've cultivated it over the years, having been subjected to numerous acts of violence. We've lived through horrendous communal riots; one that was fuelled by misplaced religious fervor and another that was blatantly encouraged by a state government. We open our newspapers every day to news of local thugs masquerading as politicians and indulging in their own acts of violence, all in the name of pride of state. We wake up in a country that is proudly associated with the old adage "University in Diversity" and we begin our days to photographs of well meaning and "patriotic" Shiv Sainiks beating up North Indian taxi drivers and sensationalized news reports of Hindu rioters describing how they hacked their victims to death during the Godhra riots. We are shocked, but we move on.

The oft asked questions these days are, "How can we prevent terror attacks? By being more vigilant? By having CCTVs in more tourist spots?" Perhaps the kind of questions we should really be asking ourselves is, "Though these attacks may be from external sources, aren't they merely payback for the lack of tolerance and the narrow mindedness of some segments of our own population? And, if that is true, can we actually escape this payback?"

In a land where justice is often meted out belatedly, can we escape the factions that choose to mete out their own form of justice? Be more vigilant we must, but what we really need is to be more vigilant about falling prey to our own narrow mindedness, and become truly united in our diversity.

Road Tripping with Moody Blues

2010-02-08T19:13:00.003+05:30

10 years ago, if you'd told me that I would own two bikes some day, I would have had a hearty laugh! Aside from the fact that at 22 I had never come close to riding a bike, owning a bike was a far off dream because I didn't have any idea how I would ever earn enough to buy one! I had no clue what I wanted to do or where I wanted to go in life (let alone HOW I wanted to get there)!

Somewhere in 2001, I bought my first bike - the Bajaj Pulsar 150cc. It was the first thing I ever really owned (even though my mom helped with the down payment)! It was probably the first time a sense of responsibility set in. I had to work if I wanted to pay off my bike loan and there was no way in hell anyone was going to take my bike away from me! My first bike also helped fix--to some extent--my cracked ego. I still remember an ex-flame telling me, "you really should learn how to ride a bike!" It makes me laugh now, but not knowing how to handle a bike can be very debilitating for a 22 year old man! But the reason I will always have fond memories of that bike is...it set me free! It allowed me the chance to leave behind everything that was ever wrong with my life! An opportunity to explore; not necessarily "boldly going where no man has gone before" but definitely a sense of adventure!

Since then I've also owned a car, but it's true when they say that a car cannot give you that sense of freedom like a bike. That exhilarating feeling of the wind hitting your face! And now, I'm reliving that experience...with my spanking new Bajaj Avenger, 200cc cruiser! She's only 6 days old now and is the most beautiful shade of blue you've ever seen! I'm calling her Moody Blues because it also reflects how I feel a lot of the time. Amdist all the randomness of this blog, I'm also going to be throwing in posts of our adventures together.

For now though, home beckons and Moody Blues is waiting patiently for me!

I Am What I Am, By His Grace

2010-02-08T12:45:00.003+05:30

I came across the following Bible passage on my sis-in-law Susanna's blog: "For I am the least of the apostles, not fit to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me has not been ineffective" -- 1 Cor 15:10.

This verse is from the book of St. Paul. According to the Bible, St. Paul was actually a persecutor of Christians, until he was converted on the road to Damascus. Hence, the reference to persecuting the Church of God.

I am not a devout Catholic; I've never been one. I always say that I am a Catholic because I was born into a Catholic family, baptised a Catholic and have just continued down the path ever since. A "moderate" is how I refer to myself when I speak about my own religious beliefs. For this reason, the people that know me and are reading this blog would probably find it out of place and quite unlike me. Quoting from Bible passages is not something I do! But something in this verse touched me as I read it. The last sentence especially.

I do not like to think of God as a being restricted within the confines of any one religion. I like to think of him as a greater power that is all knowing and intelligent enough to love unconditionally and forgive repeatedly. While each religion portrays God differently, I expect that a true experience of God would feel the same regardless of faith and community. A true experience of God would make you feel exactly what St. Paul describes: a sense of humility at being loved by someone without being asked if you are truly deserving and, therefore, a tremendous sense of gratitude because this unconditional love helps you become everything you never thought you could be.

I do not like wearing my religious beliefs on my sleeve and I try every day to be accepting of the beliefs of others. I ask only that they also try to accept my own. I wonder sometimes if I'm not taking the easy way out by considering myself a moderate. My own beliefs have been formed and shaped as a result of a tumultuous childhood and youth. Yet, I do not think of myself as a non-believer. Perhaps it is indeed the grace of God that has made me the way I am, lets me think the way I do, feel the way I do. Perhaps his grace to me will not be ineffective either. Perhaps there is a greater purpose waiting somewhere along the way.

E-Book Readers or Good Ol' Paperback?

2010-02-02T15:52:00.008+05:30

One of the questions asked during an interview at the first eLearning company I worked for was "Do you think eBook readers are better than paperback novels?" That was eight years ago when eBook readers had probably just arrived on the scene and were gathering consumer interest. Now, with the Kindle and the iPad, the concept of ebook readers has evolved into a whole new ball game. But the question still remains: are these devices really better than paperback novels?

Eight years ago my instant response to this question would have been a resounding "No!" After all, eBook readers at the time didn't have the features that are available now. Screen size was a big issue, as was the discomfort from reading for long hours off an LCD screen. Furthermore, what can be more comfortable than lying back in bed on a lazy Sunday morning with a good paperback novel? You can fall asleep while reading without having to worry about, "What if my book slides off the covers and falls to the floor?"

The new eBook readers have dealt with a lot of the issues that plagued the earlier models. Screen size is no longer a problem and reading off the screen is a lot easier. Kindle's E Ink technology means you can read comfortably on it for hours on end, and while the iPad still poses some issues in this regards because it is backlit, it lets you do a whole lot more than read. Besides, how on earth can you resist the mind blowing user experience of the iPad!

So, eBook readers have some obvious benefits: there's ample storage space so that you can carry a whole library with you; books are a lot more easily accessible because you don't have to step out to the neighbourhood library to get your book changed, or order online and wait for delivery; you've also got some amazing user experience design features, like on the iPad! Kindle and iPad users also have access to a huge collection of books and applications for their devices. With text to speech features, like in the Kindle, visually impaired readers can benefit from having books read out to them. Service providers could also go a step further and offer audio podcasts of short stories--readings of stories by authors--that could really bring a story alive!

I love my gadgets and so I would love to own a Kindle some day! I'm a wee bit skeptical of the iPad because it does look like the iPhone on steroids but also because it's a lot more expensive. That being said, I still think that the experience of shopping for a book at a local book store, like Strand's Book Stall in Nariman Point, cannot be beaten by downloading books online! Apple has promised it's iPad users an iBook store, wherein users can choose from a list of books as though they were browsing through a book shelf. What they're trying to do is replicate the experience of book shopping in real life within an online medium. Now if only they could replicate the joy you feel at walking into a book store with its book-lined walls, multi-colored stacks of paperbacks with their titles jumping out at you, and the very smell of paper that we so love!

Why I love the Incredible Hulk

2010-01-28T15:54:00.006+05:30

If the world we live in were to take sides based on loyalty to iconic superhero characters, we would most likely be split into two: those that swear by Superman and those that would turn their back on good old 'red and blue' for the Batman. But I like to think that there would also be a third group; a small, green group that would eat anger and spit rage. The HULK fanatics!

I'm no expert on this, but I think that most people consider the Hulk an interesting character, but wouldn't swear allegiance to him like they would to Superman or the Dark Knight. Perhaps it is his brutish persona or the fact that, more often than not, he is more anti-hero. Or maybe because he just comes across as another muscle-bound, dim-witted oaf. But ever since I picked up my first Hulk comic, I have absolutely, unreservedly, shamelessly idolized the green monster!

Superman is goodness personified. Batman is all shrewdness and steely resolve. The Hulk...is human!

Though the Hulk is a classic case of multiple personality disorder that is larger than any Jekyll or Hyde, this schism is a reflection on most of humanity. Every one of us has a dormant Hulk within us. In the comic books, the Hulk alter ego proves to be the stronger, getting the better of Bruce Banner at the slightest provocation. For many of us—and thankfully so—our own Bruce Banner alter ego is stronger. When faced with provocation, we bite our lip and swallow the bile that rises in our bellies because we know too well the outcome of releasing that green giant within us. On the rare occasion that he has risen, we've lived to regret our tempestuous actions! The comic books capture the clash of our own Banner/Hulk alter egos pretty accurately: while the Hulk enjoys the sweet catharsis of his rampages, the guilt of his action is all for Banner to deal with!

At the risk of sounding like I have unresolved issues, I sometimes feel I would love the mindless freedom that the Hulk enjoys! The freedom to unleash your fury at everything that hurts you, to beat down to a pulp every adversary that ever crossed you, to stare brazenly at every possible kind of disaster and flick it aside saying, "HULK SMASH!"

Convergence: Updating my blog from Microsoft Word 2007!

2010-01-20T13:15:00.002+05:30

I've just recently started working with Office 2007 and I just came across the new blogging facility in Word! If you're reading this, it means I've successfully posted a new log, directly from Word 2007! I didn't have to open Firefox, login to blogger, and then create a new post using the blogger interface. This maybe old news for some, but it's new for me and I'm happy!

Dealing with Grief: Losing a Job/Losing a Loved One

2010-01-19T16:16:00.002+05:30

I came across a somewhat interesting discussion on one of my LinkedIn groups: "I know losing a friend or a loved one can be devastating but how does the feeling compare to the loss of a job? Do we go through a similar grieving process?"

At first glance, there's just no question of a comparison, right? The loss of a loved one is far more painful than the loss of a job. Like one woman posted, "I lost my husband. Between that and losing a job - I'd pick losing a job every day for 10 years."

A lot of people felt the same way and posted similar responses. But some saw through the question: it wasn't so much about comparing the two losses as it was about looking at the loss of a job individually and asking if we go through the same stages of grief. When you lose a loved one, you lose a lot more than just their physical presence in your life. You lose whatever they brought into the relationship: a confidante, a sense of dependability, a sense of knowing where to go when you needed them. But can we say the same about losing a job?

If we're going to answer that, we have to ask ourselves, "Does my job give me more than just financial security?" We spend more time at work during the day than at home, interacting with our family members. So, of course, we forge bonds and form work-relationships that come to mean more than just idle chat at the water cooler. Losing your job could mean losing this support structure you created for yourself. I saw this when my mom was one of the hundreds of people who were laid off from Philips. It was the company my mom had started her career with and she'd been a part of the company for 20 odd years. I still remember how hard she had to struggle to come to terms with her loss, even battling depression. Over those 20 odd years, she had associated herself with her work and not being part of the company any more had made her feel...unwanted.

A couple of weeks back I got to know about an ex-colleague who passed away in a motorbike accident. I later heard that a lot of people from my old organization attended his funeral. Though I had never worked with him myself, or interacted with him personally, I wished I had been able to attend the funeral simply because he was part of an organization that I had come to love in the 4 years I had worked there. I'm guessing a lot of people who did attend his funeral would have felt the same way. Some would have been there to pay their respects to the individual but for others, perhaps, the bond they shared transcended any individual.

So my response to the LinkedIn discussion would be, yes, when we lose a job (or give one up prematurely) we do go through a similar grieving process as when we lose a loved one. The intensity would vary greatly, but the grief would probably go through the same phases: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance; denial that such a thing happened to you, anger because you didn't deserve it, bargaining over whether you could have avoided it, depression because you cannot come to terms with what you've lost, and finally acceptance because you realize it's time to move on.

Remember Me!

2009-12-31T15:33:00.002+05:30

I was just signing into my blogger account and it struck me, I like that little "Remember Me" check box that appears alongside the login fields! It's pretty cool, isn't it? You check the box and your browser remembers you every time you access the site.

Don't you wish real life had a feature like this? You wouldn't forget anyone and they wouldn't forget you!

So, remember me!

On the brink of a new year

2009-12-31T15:17:00.002+05:30

So another year almost over and done with, and I can hardly believe it! It is actually possible that time can fly when you're NOT having fun!

I was watching a movie the other day, called Peaceful Warrior. One of the scenes had Nick Nolte explaining to the hero how his performance as a gymnast was affected by his inability to live in the present. Watching that scene, I realized how closely this applies to my life. More often than not, my ability to enjoy life has been affected by my inability to live in the present! My thoughts are more often centered on past hurts, mistakes made, opportunities missed, while my present just keeps ticking away until--before I know it--it's that time of the year when I have to make new resolutions so that life can be more fulfilling.

Just this morning, I learned a little lesson about living in the present. I was getting ready for work and, as usual, was lost in my own thoughts. Beth was calling out to me to show me something. I didn't realize that she had been going "Dada, Dada" and trying to get my attention until she finally called out "Joolin". Now, I don't want her to get into the habit of calling me by my first name, so I immediately looked up and was about to say "Call me Dada, not Julian!" But Lisa pointed out how it wasn't Beth's fault. Beth had figured out that the best way to get my attention was to call me "Joolin" and I would look up to correct her!

So, if I had to make a resolution this year it would have to be to try and live in the present at all times. Hopefully, I'll be happier by next year and a better dad in all the small ways.

A Year Later

2009-02-13T11:48:00.015+05:30

Life is strange!

Sometimes it's like a lazy Sunday afternoon. You have no plans and so you wait for it to get a move on, to pick up the pace, for something, anything to happen.

Sometimes, it's like a rollercoaster ride...it's moving so fast you can't see the huge drop that's coming up, waiting to plummet you to the ground while you're screaming your head off!

Why am I feeling this sense of nostalgia? Because I have the time for it today. I've just wrapped up a couple of days of hard work on a new project and so I have time to share my thoughts a bit. And I'm thinking about all the things that have happened recently.

For one, 11th of February was my daughter's first birthday. When she was born, I couldn't believe that I had contributed towards making something that beautiful. And now, I can't believe that a year has already gone by since I first held her. I've seen her grow and change so much in this past year, from a pale-faced little baby, all wrapped up tight in bundles of cloth, to a little crawling, gurgling bundle of joy. And now, she's walking! The sweetest moment on her birthday was when she got her birthday gift...a toy dog that yips and wags his tail. Funnily enough, the first time she saw him, the batteries were down and I didn't have spares. Beth didn't know that her new toy could do all the things he could, so imagine her surprise that same evening when I put in new batteries and the dog starts barking and wagging his tail! I'll never forget the wide-eyed look of surprise on her face!

I can't believe all the things that have happened in this past year. There have been some good memories, some bad, and some downright painful. It's difficult sometimes to come to terms with just how much my life has changed, how quickly every thing moves on. In some ways I'm still in the same place I used to be a year back, and in some ways everything is different. My wife and I are expecting our second child, so it feels like my life has come full circle. But this time around, I'm not surrounded by friends at work, I'm not rushing through work so I can drive my wife back home, because we don't work in the same office any more. No more looking to my manager when I want to give vent about a really messed up project because now I'm manager myself and it's time to support others. I'm not part of the old office gang that's practicing for the cricket tournament again this year, but I'm back to enjoying my PC games...sometimes the lack of human interaction can be a blessing in disguise.

Right now, life is like a lazy Sunday afternoon. I have no plans but I'm not exactly waiting for anything to happen either. One day I know I'll be back on the roller coaster, chugging along slowly towards the steep drop that I know is there but I just cannot see. So, I'm just going to sit back and make sure I'm strapped in safely!

Moving On and Moving Up

2008-10-22T15:58:00.007+05:30

July 11, 2008 was my last day at Brainvisa Technologies. Four long, absolutely fun-filled years! And that's pretty ironic because when I moved to Pune four years ago to join BV, I was miserable! I pretty much hated the old "row house" BV office. I didn't even find cheer in the upmarket location of Koregaon Park! But how I miss BV today! How I miss the old gang, the smoke breaks, the joking and bantering. I'm sure it all still happens, but I'm not part of it anymore.

I'm not part of BV because it was time to move on. Move on and move up. Actually, moving up was never the plan but moving on had become necessary. I needed to retrace my steps and make right several wrongs. So I had to bid adieu to a place that had become such a close part of me. My whole life centred around the office then, not because I was (or am) a workaholic but because all my friends were those I made at work.

The last time I went down to BV, I realized I didn't belong there any more. The place seemed very different from how I remembered it. Familiar faces in the same old places, and yet everyone looked different, busy...distant. There were times when work would take a back seat to fun and laughter, but right then the silence was deafening! I miss the good old times, especially because in the last three months that I've been at my new workplace, I've learned that moving on can be heart breaking. And moving up is not all that it's made out to be. One of the perks of my job is that I get to put up with horseshit from a delusional team member who thinks she's manna for the Israelites! I can't remember the last time I had a good laugh, a good conversation, or played a prank on someone!

I know it's time to move on and maybe moving up won't be so bad once I learn how to deal with the horseshit better but, for now, I sure do miss the old times!

Cricket Country!

2007-11-23T02:08:00.002+05:30

India is the land of culture, tradition, yoga...and cricket! Tourists can't get enough of the first three and we Indians can't get enough of the last! Having learned the game from our one-time conquerors, the Brits, we've modified it many times over to bring in a more local appeal. We've given it names like "box cricket" and "gully cricket" and introduced our own rules to either ensure a fast-paced game or to insure against breaking our neighbour's windows!

Last weekend, while on a family vacation in Dapoli, I witnessed my first game of beach cricket. Not that I've never seen people play cricket on the beach, but there's a difference between a bunch of holidayers hitting a ball around the beach and a bunch of local kids coming together for a quick game of cricket before the sun goes down. The latter is all business! What made it more interesting is that these kids weren't playing on the beach because it was a novelty; it was probably their only play ground close to home. And yet again, the game was modified to suit the arena. Hitting the ball into the sea restricted the batsman to one run, and to quicken the pace—these kids had to get back to running their family-owned shops in the village and everyone wanted to bat—every batsman had to take one run of two balls. Simple rules, and loads of fun!

Buddy!

2007-11-10T13:04:00.001+05:30

Buddy is my sister's Labrador. Only about 8 months old, but built like a darn horse! This guy is like a seriously hyperactive kid, with a fetish for footwear! I like this picture because it seems like he posed for it, and that's quite an achievement considering how difficult it is to get him to sit quiet. If he ever gets a movie offer because of this picture, I'm going to have to send him a bill!

Lights, Camera, Action!

2007-11-10T12:40:00.001+05:30

Some more action, shot on my new camera! You can tell that the next few dozen posts are going to be dedicated to my budding hobby! Last evening, I shot some pictures of the fireworks going off right opposite my balcony. I stood there for half an hour, aiming and firing at any and every rocket that went up in the sky, while my family went "ooh!" and "aah!" at the vibrant display of colors. The camera has a special "Scene" setting that lets you click pictures of fireworks as well. I just had to try it out.

Diwali can be a rather chaotic mix of beautiful lights and fireworks displays that light up the evening sky and noisy firecrackers that continue to go off late into the night, thanks to obnoxious and uncaring neighbors!

In 8 Mega Pixel

2007-11-07T18:08:00.001+05:30

My latest pride and joy is my spanking new digicam, the Sony DSC H7. We bought it last Sunday and I have this silly smile plastered on my face ever since! 15x optical zoom and 8.1 megapixel...sweet! I'm no professional photographer, not even close, but this camera can give anyone a hobby! I'm still figuring out its features and all the different settings. For now, here are a couple of pictures I clicked. The second picture (the lanterns) is courtesy a friend and colleague, Jeba Dharamraj. I love the perspective!

Fond Farewell

2007-10-18T23:05:00.001+05:30

My work life is soon going to be a lot emptier. Tomorrow will be the last day at work for two of my closest friends. When I first heard they'd turned in their papers, I wasn't too perturbed. After all, moving on is a necessity of life. I was happy for them because they were happy for themselves. But the enormity of their decision only hit home this evening. Before I left for home, I took a trip down memory lane, looking at some old photographs and reliving some of the memories that we had made together over the past three years. And that's when I realized how badly I would miss them. Not because they're moving to another city, but just because they won't be there for the 8 hours during which I've learned to take their companionship for granted.

It's a funny thing, friendship. It begins tentatively, then slowly blossoms, growing stronger as you care and nurture it. Sometimes you don't even bother too much about nurturing it; it just grows on you like a habit. Sometimes it takes over your life to such an extent that it starts suffocating you. You become cranky and crabby and holler for some much needed space. And strangely, when that space does present itself, you suddenly feel a little alone. You want to reach out for the old and the familiar. Perhaps this space is exactly what we all need, to ignite the old fires of camaraderie. Begin new memories that will spark off new, exciting conversations. New tales, new jokes, new gossip with the old yet true friends.

A Walk in the Clouds...at Panchgani

2007-08-22T13:39:00.001+05:30

15th August was a much appreciated break from work and the missus and I took the 14th off as well to enjoy two relaxing days in Panchgani. Some of the members of my extended family own a place in this hill station. The peace and quiet of the place make it a frequent haunt for family members, especially Lisa's dad. So come 14th morning, the missus and I drove down with her dad and sister. The holiday was a welcome break for me from my regular chore of driving between home and work. Stopping for breakfast along the way is part of the family tradition of holidaying at Panchgani. Lisa's dad usually picks a nice spot and we stop for sandwiches and coffee. This time he picked a doozy!

I don't always like going down to the family home in Panchgani. It's quiet and peaceful...and it gets to me after a while! I'm not the sit back and relax type anyway. (There are only so many books one can read on a vacation!) But what grabs me about the place is the magnificent, breath taking view. The three-room bungalow sits overlooking a deep ravine, with a lake running at the bottom, and small village houses dotting the landscape. Bang opposite the bungalow, in the distance, the mountainous terrain continues. Each of the three rooms has big windows that open out onto this view and every morning the sheer beauty of it hits you full in the face. My favorite moment on every Panchgani trip is sitting on the porch with my first cuppa coffee, watching the mountains in the distance, feeling the breeze blowing through the silver oaks that line the edge of the drop. Imagine if you will the mists coming up towards you from the mountains across, stretching over the wide expanse in between, bit by bit blocking out your view of the lake below until suddenly there is but a white nothingness extending out from 10 ft ahead of you! Heavenly!

Road Rage!

2007-07-27T23:18:00.001+05:30

I had a rather funny 'road rage' incident the other day. I live in Pune, and when you live in a city that is famous for its ridiculously bad roads and mismanagement, driving the odd 14 kms to work becomes a mammoth task. As you get close to the end of your 40-minute drive, it's not very difficult to lose your temper if you're already exasperated and red in the face 10 minutes after you left home!

So I'm driving down to work with the missus. I'm irritated because the driving is getting to me now (the missus doesn't drive yet) and the bad roads and traffic aren't making things easier. The missus and I have been working out of different office buildings for the last 2 months. We get to her building first and I pull over so she can get out. As I'm about to pull back onto the road, I look into the rear view mirror and see a handcart approaching. I think to myself "Okay, good! This guy's gonna block the traffic behind me. So I can go." And so I get back onto the road and start driving. As it so happens I get a bit close to a biker, not very close in my opinion but close enough so that he gets a scare. The biker turns around and starts staring me down, then decides he doesn't want to just drive off without saying his piece. So he slows down. Like I already said, I was irritated by then and I decided I wasn't going to back down either. So I pull up next to him, looking really pissed off all the while. He stares as I roll my window down and probably arrived at the conclusion that things wouldn't go very well for him if they got out of hand and visibly calmed down a bit.

"Indicator de kar kyon nahin chalate?" he asked. I was expecting him to come up with something nastier, something that would make it easier to get out of the car and throw a couple of punches, let out some of that aggression. Without a pause I lean over and yell back, "Indicator chalu hi tha, samjha?" and then drove off feeling very stupid! No more words exchanged, no abuses even and neither of us even made a fist!

Damn! I guess some people give road rage a bad name don't we?

9/11, Planes 'Falling', and a Grammar Course

2007-07-13T16:27:00.001+05:30

I script courses for a living. Not a very flashy means of sustenance but it has its moments. The courses I script are meant for clients the world over. A good number of clients I have interacted with are Americans. Good ol' Americans! They who elected Bush...twice! They who make life a living hell for us writers with their senseless Americanization of the Queen's language, the basic premise for which is "Let's just spell everything differently in the US of A, shall we?" They who reached an all new height of paranoia ever since a bunch of Islamic extremists decided to commit yet another act of terrorism, about six years ago, but on American soil.

Ever since the tragic 9/11 occurrence, the most powerful nation in the world has been reduced to nothing more than a bunch of paranoid blustering idiots with a serious case of prejudice towards brown skinned people wearing any kind of headgear. But how deep this paranoia runs would have to be seen to be believed. Recently, I scripted a course that was meant to teach basic English skills to Arab males working with an oil manufacturing company. And rest assured, the said company is definitely not a front for jehadis!

Once the scripts were ready, they were sent to an American voice over artist to record the necessary VO for the course. The artist came back a day later, saying that there was a rogue sentence in one of the exercises. This rogue sentence would make it quite difficult for him to export the recorded content without spending a lifetime in a US prison! The exercise required learners to pick a correct word from a list and complete a number of sentences. The missing word for the rogue sentence was "ground." The completed rogue sentence would have read as, "The airplane made a lot of noise when it fell to the ground." This was enough to send quite a few people at the recording studio into a tizzy, first because they thought the sentence described an air crash in a nonchalant manner and next because they were convinced that certain government officials would definitely see this sentence as being 'terroristic!'

The result? The course is yet to be developed, with final judgment yet to be passed on the rogue sentence. I can only hope that a plane does not really fall and hit the ground before this time. Till then, if you're reading this blog, don't send mails to your relatives abroad with words like 'airplane', 'crash', 'boom', 'bang!'

Pictures from my Camera

2007-05-25T17:07:00.001+05:30

Gundip Paaji
I got a new mobile recently, the MotoMing. I had a great first few weeks figuring out the different features on the phone. And, of course, I had to try out the camera! So here are some pics I liked.

Astik

Astik Letting his Hair Down!

Love Hurts

2005-04-18T10:58:00.001+05:30

I have a close-knit group of friends. We like to think of ourselves as a biker gang because—well—one of us knows a lot about bikes, a few of us own bikes, and the rest of us look good in riding jackets! The last couple of times that we've ridden forth on bike trips we ended up having a couple of unfortunate accidents. So for now, the biking frenzy has taken a back seat to a mailing frenzy! That's right, when we're not a biker gang, we're a mailing list. We send each other a dozen mails each day on assorted topics; women, the latest cars, colleagues with funny names, colleagues we want to kill, and so on. And, yes, on some dreary days when the conversation isn't flowing all that well, we discuss the more mundane things, such as lost loves and a loss of innocence.

And we realized that it is quite a Pandora's box of horror stories that we have now collected! Stories that we can look back on now and reiterate over a couple of dozen bottles of beer, laughing uproariously at each other's crappy luck!

So, we have 'S', a short-tempered, jolly south-indian chappie who once had a relationship with a rather good looking catholic girl whom he met at Church. 'S' enjoys music and since he had quite a few catholic friends, he found a means for giving vent to his creative instincts—playing the guitar in the local church choir. And that's where he met his lady friend. Things went great—for seven months. But then religious ardor put a spoke in my friends wheel. Seven months into their relationship, his lady friend realized one day that 'S' was not a decent, catholic boy but a non-catholic! 'S' found it hard to convince her that he hadn't intentionally kept anything from her; after all his surname was 'Pillai!' His only fault was that he'd assumed that after seven months of seeing each other, his lady love probably knew this tiny detail and it didn't bother her! But it did!
And so ended a beautiful love story.

Then we have 'A,' an overly caustic individual at the age of 29. But not without reason, as you will see. Back in his college days, 'A' was a different person from his present "sarcastic-bitch" self (that's what some of us have lovingly christened him!). He was a more trusting and innocent soul. Thanks to these admirable traits, when his college crush told him that she had to end it with him because she had a fatal disease, my friend deciced he should let her 'move on' in peace rather than become a bother to her. Imagine his torment then when he found out that his crush was involved in a relationship with her step-brother that was anything but 'sisterly!' Since then 'A' swore never to trust anyone again, no matter how severe a disease they claimed was going to claim them!
And so ended another beautiful tale.

And then there's me. I find it a lot difficult to look back on this episode in my life and laught at it, no matter how many beers I may have had! My saga goes thus; I met this rather pretty woman back in college because of a stupid dare with a friend who claimed he could talk with any woman at any time. So I asked him to stop the first girl we saw and ask for her name. As it turned out, the first girl we saw would later put my heart in a blender and hit "Frappe!" Once he got her name, my friend, who had an ample amount of luck with the opposite sex, thought that this was too good an opportunity and too good looking a woman to pass up on. So he began trying to get to know her. He even introduced her to me because he (and I) thought I couldn't do much damage to his chances, what with my total lack of conversational skills and good looks! But like I said, my friend was a lucky guy, and his luck held true; the monster actually took a 'fondness' to me!

And I fell hard! So enraptured was I by her beauty and the surprising yet obvious chemistry we shared that I allowed myself to be bold enough to think she would actually leave her boyfriend for me. After all, the guy had been cheating on her all the while and didn't she deserve better? Well, to cut a long story short and steer this tale away from the "blood and gore" bits, after six months of writing numerous heart felt love letters that included (what I thought at the time were "meaningful") lines from Boyzone numbers, I found myself out in the cold. Why? Because my lady love had decided that her cheating boyfriend couldn't be done away with that easily, since he was her first love! And being her first love, that made him her priority! Personally, I thought about gifting her a copy of Webster's dictionary and marking out "Priority" for her own perusal. But by then I was too busy filling the cracks in my broken heart, with beer (I got some interesting beer stories too!)

And thus ended another loving tale!

Stairway to Hell

2005-03-09T17:20:00.000+05:30

This is a little something I wrote today about the travails of working from the sixth floor of my office building. Not a very pleasant experience, as is obvious!

If hell were located at the top of a six-storey building, do you know how many steps it would take to get you there?

114.

That’s right! Exactly 114. I should know; I’ve counted them. I count them every day as I walk up to my own personal hell — the sixth floor.

It’s the start of a fresh working day. I get to work and the day begins with a “by-now-expected” phenomenon. The lift’s not working.

I suck in my sagging gut and prepare for the task ahead. By now, I know what to expect, as I get closer to the fiery pits of my very own version of Mount Doom. The air gets thinner and the temperature begins to rise. There are a LOT fewer women to ogle at.

I struggle past the fifth floor, almost on my hands and knees now. I know that somewhere in life these long treks that I make every day now are going to stand me in good stead. But that is a distant promise. In the present, I’m too washed out to give a tiny rat’s ar*@!

Finally, I’m there. I’m so busy trying to catch my breath that I am not even shamed at the pitiful state I find myself in at 27! I walk in, and I’m suddenly slapped in the face by the all-encompassing heat. I look desperately at the AC behind my workstation; it’s still not working.

I wipe the sweat off my brow and get down to the day’s work. I have a review to incorporate, a storyboard to submit by the end of the day.

It’s mid-afternoon now and things are going fine. And that’s surprising considering I am in hell! Maybe Satan’s called in sick, maybe he’s looking elsewhere!

Maybe I spoke too soon. The lights flicker. Phut. That was my PC shutting down. Just when I was on the last page of my review. The closest AC (situated at a football field’s distance from me) and also the only one functioning, wheezes out its last few breaths of cold air. The electricity’s done the bunk – again! A stink emanates a couple of bays away. Someone let rip a stinker — again!

I grind my teeth, bite my lip, sigh and leave my seat to take a break.

Ironically, while I know I’m going to have strong legs from all the walking up the steps, I also find myself drinking a lot more coffee, thanks to these forced breaks. I think I might also take up smoking pretty soon.

I’m done with my break. My breath smells of coffee and “bummed-off” ciggies. I move hopefully towards the lift. But no luck. Some poor sod’s stuck between floors — again!

I guess I’ll just walk up.

20, 21, 22…